Author: <span class="vcard">klds</span>

 

What if we treated people the way we treat puppies?

When we brought these two adorable pups home, they were trembling and shaking, terrified to leave the only safe place they had ever known. My husband and I offered reassurance in the only way we could: we cuddled our new bundles of joy, we spoke to them in soft, soothing tones, and we moved as slowly and unthreateningly as possible. Our new charges had no idea who we were or what we were saying, but our bodies and voices conveyed to them that they were safe.

We couldn’t very easily stand over them and professorially inform them that we had already raised one Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who ultimately became an AKC Champion and stud dog. We didn’t lecture them about the multiple advanced degrees and certifications we held, and when we tried to at least reassure them that we were licensed teachers (and one of us was a mindfulness teacher!), they were quite unimpressed.

Obviously, they didn’t need our words; they needed our voices. They didn’t need our brains; they needed our bodies. They needed our calm presence to provide them with warmth, safety, and soothing touch.

They needed softness and quiet. They needed stable others to hold and love them.

That’s what our human little ones usually need, too.

I thought of how often I tend to respond to my children’s distress with talk and words and brain stuff. Unlike the puppies, they speak English, after all! My daughter hits some fourth-grade friend drama, and I respond with a soliloquy about the difficulties of female friendship as I reminisce about old acquaintances now forgot and times of auld lang syne.

Which is really the last thing my daughter needs in that moment. She doesn’t need my stories — she needs me to hold space so she can tell me hers. She needs a big warm hug, a comfy spot on the couch, and a human who is present and available. She’s really just a puppy, with the same mammalian need for emotional connection to a member of her pack.

As mammals, we all first and foremost need a felt sense of safety– not just knowing we are safe, but feeling that we are safe. These two nervous but adorable pups are reminding me of that every day.

Which brings me to another point: no matter how much trouble this pair gets into (chewed shoes, muddy paw prints, potty accidents), all they need to do is look at me with those big soft eyes and all is forgiven. There’s no malice in those sweet faces, just innocent puppy curiosity. I can respond to their misbehavior by offering more appropriate objects for canine mouths to chew, but chewing them out doesn’t help.

I suppose dogs can be intentionally malicious at times. But isn’t it much more likely that they bite because they are scared, gnaw on shoes because their teeth hurt, and pee on the carpet because we don’t pay attention to their subtle cues?

Humans also intentionally hurt other members of their pack from time to time. But might they, like puppies, inflict pain on others not out of deep malice, but because they are scared, hurt, or ignored?

What if we took the same warmth and love and presence and forgiveness that comes so easily from us when we’re with a puppy, and extended it to members of our own species?

What if we…

… gave lots and lots of hugs and kisses and snuggles to our loved ones every day? *licking optional

… remembered that most creatures’ barks are bigger than their bites?

… responded with kind presence and warmth and attention to someone in need, instead of immediately trying to “solve” their problems?

… paid more attention to how our posture and voice and facial expressions and movements send messages of safety or threat to those around us?

… assumed that someone’s hurtful actions were not intentional?

… made time in our day to engage in fun and completely unproductive PLAY with others?

… said “I love you” many, many, MANY times a day? *licking optional

… paused and considered the deep and legitimate human and/or mammalian need that may have possibly motivated someone’s behavior, rather than assuming the worst?

… made soulful eye contact with the special people in our lives?

… talked a whole lot less, and listened and cuddled a whole lot more?

… saw everyone, including ourselves, as the embodiment of love itself?

… breathed deeply, listened carefully to our thoughts, and cultivated an awareness of our emotions so we could be safe for others… and ourselves?

… loved freely and fiercely and openly?

What if we nurtured other human beings the way we nurture our puppies?

Thought

Let’s wish Sue a very Happy Birthday!

Birthdays

Kelly will be doing this walk- if you would like to walk or donate, look for Team Storm to donate (not up yet-keep checking) or contact Kelly.

Causes

7th grade Shock went 2 and 0 today. Tournament in Buffalo…whole family celebrating!

4/2/17-Update:Congratulations Shock 7 went 4 and 0 to win the championship!!

Sports

Birthdays

Delaney’s “husband” in Addams family and good friend was a young man named Micheal Lynch. He was hit by a car going to school yesterday and is in critical condition.  Please keep Delaney and The Lynch family in your prayers during this difficult time.

This was from the D&C:

Michael Lynch, 14, was struck by a car while crossing Cooper Road on Thursday. A freshman at Irondequoit High, Lynch suffered life-threatening injuries and underwent surgery at Strong Memorial Hospital on Thursday.

“Michael comes from a family of strong religious faith.  The Lynch family has had their share of struggles throughout these past couple of years with the mother, Bernadette, battling cancer herself and is now faced with this nightmare.”

From Kay:

I am writing with some tragic news about a theater friend of Delaney’s who was hit by a car yesterday on his way to school.  Michael Lynch was 14 and was critically injured from this accident.  They operated and removed part of his skull to try and reduce the swelling to his brain, however it did not help and he has been declared brain dead.   He also has bleeding in his lungs and a broken leg.   He is on life support right now and was not expected to survive the night.  He is still on life support as he will be donating his organs.  This was a tragic accident to a bright, funny young man who touched many people.  Michael was Delaney’s theater husband!!   She is completely heartbroken as we all are for this situation.   He was extremely close to his mother, who is currently undergoing treatment for Cancer.   Please prayer for a wonderful family that they will find the means to find comfort during this very difficult time.   Thanks, K

Prayers

Been off here for awhile- let’s update…

St. Pat’s Day- kiddos in green!

Kelsie is back to playing ball.

Cousins in Illinois- Kelly took this on the trip with mom and dad. All home now safely. They had Frank’s Pizza twice!

Scutella’s at the Biltmore.

Erin completing her second 5K run- this is a donate life run- go girl!

Family News

From fashion and fun to my first temper tantrum! I’m getting big…

Photos

Well I had my surgery- went from a “double dang” to “barely boobs”, from sagging to perky.

They took 1000 g & 700 g. 1000 grams = 2.20 pounds- feels like more.

(Kay C- this is the best picture I can do- no actual footage allowed)

It feels so good! Minus the pains of surgery and stitches.

The flowers above were from Jan and Ed & English Landing.

Thanks for all the cards and well wishes- we appreciate them!~

Family News

Delaney being inducted in to the Junior National Honor Society. There were 117 students (40%) of her class!

Mattie got accepted into the Masters Teaching program!

Congratulations girls, you make us proud!

Family News

Let’s wish Bob a very happy birthday!

Birthdays

Please keep the Mack family in your prayers with the recent death of Rich.

Richard E. Mack, 47, of Orion, IL, died Friday, March 17, 2017, in Coal Valley, IL.

A memorial service will be 10:00 a.m. Thursday, March 23, 2017 at Esterdahl Mortuary & Crematory, Ltd., 6601 38 Avenue, MolineVisitation will be from 4-7 p.m. on Wednesday at the funeral home.  Inurnment will be at Western Township Cemetery.  In lieu of flowers memorials may be made to the family.

Rich was born on December 29, 1969, in Galesburg, Illinois, the son of Ron Mack and Patty Roling.  He married Beth Lage on October 3, 1998 in Geneseo.

In 2003 Rich started his business, Mack Construction, he always took great pride in his work.  Rich was an avid Pittsburg Steelers fan and enjoyed watching football, above all was his love for his family and friends.  Whenever his kids had activities he would always be seen in the crowd.

Rich truly enjoyed helping people, he had a positive attitude and will be missed by all.

Survivors include his

Wife                            Beth Mack                               Orion, IL

Children                      Alexandra and Austin

Father                          Ron (Barb) Mack                  College Station, TX

Mother                        Patty Roling                            Galesburg, IL

Siblings                       Mike Tracy

Kim Mack

Kelli (Blake) Gifford

A host of other family and friends.

He was preceded in death by his infant daughter, Elizabeth.

 

Mom said to send cards and memorials (not flowers) to the family:

Beth Mack

PO Box 38
Orion IL 61273-9176

Remembrances

For those going to Joe’s service…remember…

Thought

Let’s wish Rob a Happy Birthday!


Birthdays

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